The Art of Giving Feedback

In the British version of The Office, David’s peer is promoted to his boss, and right after that, David sees him playing “cricket” in the office with the team. David tells him in front of everyone: “Just want to be popular as the new boss. Oh, Love Me. Pathetic.” This is not how you should give feedback.

And while in this case, it is clear that David handled the feedback poorly, he is not alone in the struggle to give practical and impactful feedback. People worry about hurting their feelings, and it can seem easier to do it yourself rather than having difficult conversations. Here’s the thing, without feedback, you are depriving the other person of the opportunity to learn and grow. And at the same time, you keep yourself stuck doing these tasks when you could invest your time in business development or more significant corporate initiatives. Giving feedback the right way creates a win-win for you and your team.

Here are some of my tips for giving feedback.‍‍

‍Tip 1: Remember Feedback Is Not Always Constructive‍

We often focus on giving constructive feedback and tend to forget about giving feedback when someone is successful.

If you want people to continue engaging in successful behaviors, you must let them know what they are. Also, giving this feedback allows people to act more confidently and effectively because they know what they are doing is working. Moreover, positive feedback increases engagement.

Just like constructive feedback, this feedback should be near in time and be specific about what they did well and what the impact was. ‍

Tip 2: Sandwich It Up‍

In the US (this approach may not be effective in some countries outside of the US), sandwich the constructive feedback between two pieces of positive feedback. Also, do not overwhelm the person with too many pieces of constructive feedback. People will become disengaged and overwhelmed if asked to change too many things simultaneously. You can give them additional feedback after they are on the road to improvement. ‍

Tip 3: Coach Them By Asking Their Opinion‍

Asking the person how they felt a project went and what they could do differently is a great way to engage the person in their own development. The more conversational the feedback is and the more the person has input into solutions and new approaches, the more involved the individual will be in changing their behaviors. If you just talk at the person, it is much more likely that they will tune out and not improve.‍

Tip 4: Stay Focused On The Problem Rather Than The Person‍

Discuss the action or behavior and its impact in your feedback conversations, not the person. For example:‍

Don’t Say: You are an ineffective writer and must be more persuasive.

Do Say: Your writing could be much more impactful on the audience if it were more persuasive. For example...‍

Tip 5: Offer Clear Examples And Actionable Suggestions

‍Often managers give feedback that employees find vague, which is hard to implement. For example, telling an employee they need to be more strategic without showing them what being strategic looks like may lead to confusion and people giving up because they need to know what to do. Instead, you could explain to them how they could have been more strategic in the conversation at issue. It would be helpful to show them what they could do instead.‍

Tip 6: Be Timely And Allow Improvement‍

Feedback is most effective when close in time to the incident. And it would help if you also understood that people cannot always implement feedback quickly. For example, asking someone to be more proactive in meetings may take time if this is the first time they have done it. Remember to give positive feedback whenever you see improvement. This will help people remain committed to improvement. ‍

Tip 7: Remain Objective And Be Empathetic‍

Understand that receiving feedback can be challenging, so you should be empathetic in giving that feedback and the response you receive. However, it is critical that the person understands the feedback and where they need to improve. If you are not clear on this, you are doing the person a disservice and robbing them of the opportunity to improve.

As part of this, you should offer support and suggestions.

To create a talent pipeline and an engaged team, you must ensure that you give meaningful feedback that allows people to grow. Doing this also lets you invest your time in more strategic work and projects.

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