How to Stop Asking For Permission

In the movie, The Post, Kay Graham, the newspaper's owner, speaks to Bob McNamara, a dear friend who classified war papers that the Post is considering exposing. At one point, Kay tells him: "I'm here asking your advice, Bob, not your permission."‍

And that is what I want for you. Stop asking for permission in your career because it signals that you are not confident in your abilities, judgment, and decision-making. Many people need help with making this switch.

Here are some of my tips for changing this habit:

Tip 1: Understand When You Seek Permission

Look for patterns when you seek permission and identify what the voices in your head say at that moment. Then examine those voices for validity and challenge them if they are not rational or true. Ask yourself if asking permission is holding you back or moving you forward. Then act in your own best interest.

Tip 2: Build on Small Successes

As you are trying to build a new habit, it is best to start by taking small steps by making decisions and taking action without seeking permission in low-stakes situations. This can help you build confidence and prepare you for more challenging scenarios. As you go through this process, recognize and celebrate your successes. Also, remember we often will make missteps, and that is okay; start over again to create this new habit/behavior.

Tip 3: Get Comfortable with Failure

Many people ask for permission because they want a safety net where they can say they are not the only one who thinks this way. These people play it safe because they fear failure. Failure is not fatal or final. It is part of the learning and development process.

Becoming comfortable with failure is critical to leading a successful and peace-filled life. If failure is a problem for you, you are most likely risk-averse and tend to play things safe. This approach problem limits what you do, what you try, and what you experience. All of this can limit going up the ladder. Learning to fail is the key to success.

Tip 4: Ask for Advice Instead of Permission

Be like Kay Graham and ask for advice and information - so you can decide or take action. But do not use this as a safety net.

Ask for advice from a trusted mentor or friend. Make sure this is not a critical or risk-averse person. Leverage someone who has taken chances and left their comfort zone. You do not want someone who will only validate your tendency to wait for permission. Get your best advice, trust your intuition, and do it! Don't fall into the trap that other people know what's better for you than you do. Believe in yourself and move forward with confidence.

Taking decisive action without asking for permission will make you more effective, efficient, and confident. It is critical for your success that you build this skill.

‍

‍

‍

‍

‍

********************

Want more insights?

Check out this article where I share the 7 Steps to Leap from In-House Technician to Legal Leader. Learn my time-tested strategy for in-house counsel to leap from in-house technician to legal leader so you can have greater impact and control of your career, compensation, and courage.